Hey Diamond,
I don't know, I am ar loser o what. Just now my friend tells me that another friend gonna start working this Sunday. and I don't know why I feel shocked about it. Usually, I'm soo happy if my friends tell me that they gonna start to work but now my self is shaking. I feel that I'm just a loser girl who doesn't have anything to be proud of. didn't have any job, can't do anything just laying in the house doing nothing. I feel hopeless right now. Oh God... what happened to me? I feel like I did not have any luck at all. what should I do have a chance to do a part-time job but it has just been blown away by "someone" and when I'm thinking about it, it just makes me cry, just like now. I don't know... should I just die? every day I'm just thinking... " aku ni tengah tunggu apa sebenarnya?" kerja? convo? sambung belajar? right now, I feel like I didn't have any plan for my future, any aim, anything... nol, zero... is it because I'm too lazy to think or I don't hope for anything? I'm just being selfish right now... yup being selfish toward myself... I just remember that someone said to me he did go out from the house to find a job to search for life since teenage not like me I'm 24 but still in my parent's house... did not pay any single cent. even my phone bill is also being paid by someone else. nothing to be proud of. I don't know what move should I make... Going out of the house? die? or I'm too scared to face the reality or am I too comfortable with my situation right now. And right now I feel distance from my friends... Only God knows
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